I'll be making dinner, putting the dishes away, picking up piles of laundry off the floor, watching my children wrestle in the living room, and it will hit me- twins are coming. I feel the winds of change blowing. Twins are coming. TWINS ARE COMING.
Never, ever, in my life, did I expect twins. And yet, if I'm perfectly honest with you, I'm not at all surprised. The birth of my last child was such a time of turmoil in my life, I vowed never to have children again. I gave away all my maternity and baby things. I supposed I'd have two children, and be content and blessed in that. And I was.
And yet, some time later, I couldn't shake the calling. I knew there were more souls out there, waiting in line, waiting to come. My husband felt it, too. We looked at each other, feeling what we were feeling, but unable to speak it aloud. It can't be. Our lives are so complicated. I just went to rehab. I'm not supposed to be having more children. And yet, there they were, two of them. I could feel them. When we decided to go ahead and try, I still wasn't expecting both of them to come at once, because that would be crazy. I thought we'd have one, settle down for a few years, and maybe have another. Nope. Life doesn't work that way.
It wasn't a yearning for babies that made me try for a third child. I wasn't dreaming about newborns, looking longingly at infants passing by in their slings. In fact, full disclosure, I basically shuddered when I saw a newborn. Story's infancy had been so traumatic, I wanted no part in another one. I even dreaded it- all of it. The pregnancy, the labor and birth, the diapers and sleep deprivation and chaos. I didn't want it. I didn't need it. But, there it was. I felt a child waiting for me, somewhere out there in the Universe, waiting for the chance to come home. Waiting to be my child. It was just one that I felt at the door, but I knew in my heart that there were two. When we found out it was twins, I was shocked, but I wasn't surprised.
It still doesn't feel real. Every now and then, it hits me. Twins. We're having twins. Then, reality fades into the mundane, and I'm back to making sandwiches. Soon enough, the realization will strike me again- twins. They are coming. They are coming fast.
